Raging flames engulfed a two story apartment building, eating their way up the walls and disintegrating the wood and drywall that stood in their path. Billows of thick black smoke permeated the room, rapidly draining the oxygen supply. Pieces of debris rained from the ceiling as plumes of ash whirled around in the hot air.

Former firefighter Glenn Joshua was just within reach of an escape balcony, but with moments to spare he turned back. He had forgotten something: a pike pole. Joshua was still inside the building when the roof came barreling down.

Joshua, now an English professor at Elgin Community College, was filling in for a fellow firefighter on the night the roof collapsed, severely injuring him and killing one of his close friends.

“If you go work at another man’s fire department and you don’t do your job or you don’t show any type of true masculinity, when the regular guy comes back his coworkers are going to say, ‘don’t bring that guy back here, he can’t do his job,’” Joshua said.

It was the “pervasive hyper-masculinity” and “macho-ism” plaguing the firefighting industry, Joshua said, that triggered the impulse to risk his life for a fiberglass hook.

Why does “being a man” often require individuals to participate in high risk behavior? What other dangers present themselves when individuals feel the need to “prove their masculinity”?

These questions and dozens of others are explored in the documentary “The Mask You Live In”, which was aired in the Seigle Auditorium on Nov. 11 by the Multicultural and Global Initiatives Committee (MAGIC) in conjunction with Christina Marrocco and Gail Borden Public Library’s Danielle Henson.

“The Mask You Live In,” an official selection at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival, is the second film installation in the Representation Project, preceded by the celebrated 2011 documentary “Miss Representation.”

“The Mask You Live In,” follows a series of boys and young men struggling to stay true to themselves as they are constricted by America’s narrow definition of masculinity in which they are conditioned to reject their emotions, devalue authentic relationships, objectify women and settle conflicts with violence.

A panel of psychologists, educators, coaches and community activists address the sources of these limitations and their detrimental effects, both obvious and more covert.

One contributor, former Baltimore Colts defensive lineman Joe Ehrmann, suggests that all young men are faced with a set of socially-bound expectations: athleticism, economic success and sexual conquest. Traits such as empathy, companionship and emotional availability are inherently “feminine,” Ehrmann said.

Failing to comply with this set of rules is met with ostracism and, often times, physical abuse, the film suggests.

“We’ve constructed an idea of masculinity in the United States that doesn’t give young boys a way to feel secure in their masculinity, so we make them go prove it all the time,” said sociologist Dr. Michael Kimmel.

A young boy’s concept of what is considered “masculine” begins with the early experiences he has with father, the film suggests, and continues to form based on the behavior of his peers and the treatment he receives from teachers and coaches.

Another contributor, Ian, recalled that a nagging desire to impress his former drill sergeant grandfather was what motivated him in his adolescence to play more sports and adamantly avoid “all things feminine.”

Ian said he pursued the quintessential male experience during high school and college–ditching his childhood friends to exclusively associate himself with other jocks, dating the head cheerleader and drinking himself into a stupor every weekend with his frat brothers.

It was not until his sophomore year of college that Ian said he began to reconsider what it meant to be masculine. The change of heart came about when Ian discovered his first serious girlfriend had been raped and his mother later revealing that she had a similar experience. Ian said that, prior to this point, the male culture in America had conditioned him to believe that females lived for the attention of men.

The film provided shocking statistics met by sighs and gasps from the 55 member audience. One in four boys is bullied, though only 30 percent report the incidents to adults. Thirty-four percent of boys have consumed alcohol by age 12. Ninety percent of homicides are committed by males.

Following the presentation, ECC professors and students were asked to express their reactions to the film and share personal experiences with attempting to establish their masculinity.

“Sometimes you need a significant event to take place to make you reconsider who you are and what your role is,” said English professor Bill Akers.

Akers said his redefining moment came when he undertook the role of full-time caregiver to his one and two-year-old children.

“It was sort of a financial situation,” Akers said. “My wife had made a lot more money than I did.”

Akers said that when people asked what he did for a living he would lie by telling them he was working on a screenplay.

In other instances Akers said he would sarcastically answer, “I’m my kids’ mother.”

Reflecting back on those conversations now, Akers said he feels shameful for buying into the misconception that being a stay-at-home parent is a task designated for women.

“When I started lying like that, I felt inadequate,” Akers said. “Why do I have to lie about something that

I love doing? I had to go back and reassess what it meant to be a guy. I had to reject my father’s definition.”

Eventually, Akers said he was able to measure his masculinity, not by the parameters set by others, but by the standards he set for himself.

“Reconstructing who you are is very difficult and I’m glad I didn’t have to get caught in a burning building [to do it],” said Akers.

English professor Christina Marrocco instilled in the audience that broadening the definition of masculinity is as contingent on women as it is on men, citing an interaction she witnessed in her classroom about three years ago.

“I had a female student complaining about how her boyfriend had cried in front of her one time too many and so she had broken up with him,” Marrocco said. “A dialogue ensued where she and some male students talked about how men should never cry, how these male students would never cry in front of anyone or how they’ve never cried at all.”

In the back of the room, a row of what Marrocco described as “more sensitive, artistic” boys were visibly disturbed.

“I could watch them being destroyed by what they were overhearing. I could see their faces just freezing and shattering,” Marrocco said. “I think that women don’t always know how much power they have in allowing or disallowing various healthy behaviors in men.”

David Carrillo, professor of human services, closed the discussion with a challenge for audience members.

For the men, Carrillo asked that they work to expand their emotional capacity and willingness to open up. The challenge to the women, Carrillo said, is to demand the respect they deserve and to refrain diminishing or being critical when men make the small steps in defying the traditional rules of masculinity.