“Samhainophobia” is the fear of Halloween, when some people develop high anxiety about the day, decorations or costumes.

I was always a skittish child. I always got scared by the smallest thing. If I walked into my room and I saw a stuffed animal sitting on my bed I was easily frightened. If someone said “boo” when I wasn’t paying attention, yes, I also got spooked. My quick reaction time caused me to jump high into the air.

Consequently, I was never a big fan of Halloween.

My mother always believed it was the holiday of the devil.

For me, the only real fun of Halloween was the anticipation of dressing up in a ridiculous costume and living a fantasy for 12 hours. The reality seldom matched the expectations.

Looking back on the past seven years, I realize that the times that I’ve been involved in anything related to Halloween, something unlucky happens. Although nothing dramatic happened, the situations were unlucky to me.

Every year I would end up tripping over something and landing on either my face or knees. Or adults would drop more candy into my sister’s bucket than mine. Yes, it hurt, sometimes physically, other times emotionally. 

I think I felt a sense of discomfort and danger, as if some of the scary Halloween ideas, such as ghosts and goblins, could actually be real. My costumes were always harmless enough; Hello Kitty, a pumpkin, princess, and gymnast.

We always lived in and trick-or-treated in safe neighborhoods, but I worried that someone behind a mask might actually be dangerous.

Was that man who seemed to follow a group of school children REALLY their father, or was he a “bad” person, waiting to attack innocent costumed children? None of my worries made sense, but they were real to me.

Upon returning home from trick-or-treating with my sisters, I did enjoy answering the door to find other children eagerly shouting “trick-or-treat” and adding more candy to their bags or plastic pumpkins. My Halloween fears disappeared when I walked back through my front door, once again safe in my own home.

Do I still experience Halloween fears? I no longer go trick-or-treating, so that unease is gone. But I still glance warily over my shoulder if I am out and about on October 31st, not quite sure that a paranormal something might be lingering in the shadows of dark trees or yards.

The long term effect of being afraid of Halloween was the fact that now I can’t watch scary movies like, “The Purge”, “Goosebumps”, or even the Netflix show, “Supernatural”.

I still dress up for Halloween with friends but I am never apart of giving out candy to children because it involves opening the door to the outside world during the night.